wow! That was a bit of a long ass break wasn't it? For some of you, who keep up with my facebook know that the last month has been extremely rough on me. You're often unaware of your limits until you've been pushed beyond them. It's in this dark, cold, God forsaken place that you realize who your friends are, who truly loves you, & how much you really want something. I've been told off a number of times, had my ideas shot down and trashed, spent many nights crying myself to sleep...yet I still want that career so bad I can taste it. It's a matter of me being patient with myself and realizing that I'm only 23! I should absorb every experience I get, my time to break free from the archaeological mould will come..don't rush it. It will come...
As for love...it's just not for me I guess. I think I left love back in SA, because I sure as hell not finding it here. Thought I found someone I could be with while living here, but turns out that he was/is a prick that I wish I had never met. He used to intrigue me, was so much older & I could just never figure him out. He on the other hand could see right through me, my fault entirely. Probed at aspects and secrets about me and my personality that I had buried away within myself with no hope of resurfacing...least to say I didn't like it, so I gave him the boot...literally! I've given up on finding "the one", whenever he/she is ready, I hope to be ready too. As for now I'll be starring across the table at my latest eyecandy & sleeping alone in my bed, focusing on building up that 'Jeffersonian' career. It's the one thing I know for sure that I'm good at, no doubt.
The next topic I should really focus on is : PhD now or later? Do I volunteer with the EAAF in NY or go home for a bit and do odd jobs here and there? Do I stay in the ICE AGE with no idea what to do next??
