Back in York

After just a little over 12 hours of travelling, I'm back in York. To be honest it feels good to be back to a little more control in my life. Spring time in the UK and the sun is out and shining, not all that warm,but shame they are trying. lol.

Getting back into the swing of things already, have a coffee date later today and dental calculus to read up on =). Sounds like so much fun, would rather go shopping. Think I'll do that before those bratty kids get married tomorrow and force the whole of England to be a part of it. Note to the "so-called Royals of England" your not really royalty, you have no power in this country or anywhere in the world actually, and nobody cares that one of you is getting married! That is all...I would like to get on with my life now.

Oh...I've realized last night that I indeed do have my own agent Booth =)

Ready to leave now

Wow...I have never before in my life felt like an outsider among my own mates. You know when you start the day and you're just so excited bout it and the people you get to see again?? Well, that is how my day originally started...loads of smiles, hugs and laughs. A lunch date that put my mind both at ease and going into sensory overload. I know it wasn't the main intention, but my emotions tend to do what they want, when they want. On the drive home all I could think about was how this "Black Widow" was sinking her teeth into my mate and flooding in so much poison into the wound. Dark secrets also came to light, I had suspected it was going on, but had no proof. Just it being mentioned by somebody else put all the pieces together for me. So many things started making sense, a clear picture was forming. The only thing I didn't and don't understand is why? Why lie about it and keep it a secret? Why did't you tell me bout her? Think I was going to judge you? Maybe a little bit yes, but I have been stood by you anyway...clearly we not as close mates as I thought we were...July 7...

My family is also turning it seems, turning me into a domesticated housewife!! Don't know how and why, but its happening and the torture is greater than Chinese water-torture. Alas, you can't choose your family so let's focus on what I can change...me.

Note to self: STOP CARING ABOUT FUCKS WHO DON'T GIVE A SHIT BOUT YOU!!!

thatisall

Changes

Remember in the last post how I claimed that nothing at all had changed in SA?? What the hell did I know, I had only been in SA for little over 2 weeks! I can honestly say that a shit-load of things and people have changed. I'm not trying to be mean and target people, and I know that changed is unavoidable, its going to happen whether I like it or not. It's just that I did not expect it to be this drastic, actually I didn't expect it at all. Maybe that's the problem. Over the past 5 months away I had stored all the memories and awesomeness of my family and mates, preserved and conserved them in their pristine and original condition, that coming back to this...made me really angry and sad. I cried!! It was the memories that kept me going in that fridge wasteland! Ok, I'm being a bit of a snob-nosed bitch right now, but thank you mates for giving me 5 minutes of your lives, while I on the other hand spent 12 hours in flight traveling half way across the world, paid around R12000, and a month out of my dissertation writing time to see your asses!!! It's cool now, I'm over it...I know I don't exactly fit in anymore, but hey so what...I'm a big girl (I think) it's just water over my really curved back now. Moving on...

I still have more rant in me, but no...! Change...have I changed? I hope not at this point I like me, so changing would ruin that, maybe later =)

I'm tired now, think I've dramatized my life a bit too much now. Time to just mellow and chill out a bit with a bunch of guys, who even though have changed, they still get me.

The power of music =) God-sent =)