I’m so tired...my soul is so tired...I want this degree so bad and I want to do well too. I just can’t get anything done right. Everything I seem to do isn’t right or not good enough. I spend hours everyday reading books and writing a few hundred words just so you can read it and let me know what you think, where I’m going wrong...you know the normal stuff that helps you grow as an academic. Sure, they’ll rip my work to shreds with their razor sharp tongues (or fingers in this case), but you know what, at least then I will know that some time was taken out of their day to actually stick their heads out of each others asses and wonder how I’m getting on!!
Wow, that was a super long sentence...
To say I’m pissed off is an understatement; actually it’s not true at all. I’m just curious so know what it is that I’m fucking up on?? I follow everything, well whatever I can remember, to the letter how can I be doing it wrong?? And when I send you work, I expect you to read it and then leave comments!!! I’m not asking for the world now am I! Shit, Mary mother of...sorry, that was just another explosion of my pent up anger. I’m just a retard when it comes to science. This statement would have bothered me so much before, but now...I’m actually glad that I’m a retard as far as science goes because you know what, it’s all bullshit! It’s all just a bunch of douche-bags (with the one nice guy in the group) who think they all that and a bag of chips, sitting in their little ivory towers mixing and extracting shit that nobody really cares about. If I had to choose between religion and science, I would always choose religion. No question about it!! I’m sorry the answer you seek does not lie within an eppendorf tube or through the lens of a microscope, as cool as all those things may be, but the answer is out there in the field. Get the fuck out and live/experience the life of those you study, if not, then let me do shit my way. I won’t fuck it up; I swear.
I’m sorry...I’m sorry you had to read this, but I just feel like absolute shit today and want my besties to be with me and tell me that it will be fine. I want to go to a pub quiz and win the beer round, and have pub-lunch-Friday even though we just started the week. I want to smile, laugh and talk about manfriends and potential love interests. Don’t want to be the miserable old sod that I’ve become anymore.
It will all be over soon...2 months from now I’ll be liberated and Callisto will move on from York and start a new adventure elsewhere =)
No comments:
Post a Comment